Das influ.

So, after my hundredth post, I kind of just fell off the grid for a while. The truth is, I was just so involved in everything and nothing at the same time, so I just couldn't be bothered. Not that it's a bad thing, I just felt that I didn't have much to say at the time, because I started to feel as if I were saying the same things, just worded differently.
After a 13 hour trip to Greece, I proceeded to party hard that night, with me being awake for 40 hours. Not a smart thing to do, but it was fun. Next day, I was sort of sick, but not that much. By Monday night, after a couple beers, I was feeling really under the weather. Monday night, I thought I was running a wee fever, but I didn;t give it much though. Next morning, I woke up feeling feverish again, so I told my parents. Naturally, they freaked out because they thought that I had contracted the swine flu, which is totally acceptable since I did fly in from the states. And off to the hospital I go, where I was quarantined for almost 10 hours, waiting for a) the blood tests to come back, and b) me to show signs of a fever. I got the results, didn't get the fever. I was clean, ladies and gentelmen, clean as a thistle.
After that, I started easing back in to the Greek way of life, with uber smoking, drinking, and clubbing. Not to mention working, since I've been doing a shit load of that.
I tried skateboarding today, but something was wrong with my big toe, and I could only push around for 5 minutes or so. After that, it got too painfull. Thankfully, I'm going to a physical therapist tomorrow, and see if he can't straighten out some of my kinks.
Also, I've sort of fallen behind my songwriting, and I don't like it, not one bit.
You know, cause I used to pump out a song a day.

The wait is over!

So I think that I should start typing this thing up, before it gets too late and I'm all like: "meh, I mean, I can not write for a day. right?". So anyways, not a whole lot has been happening. Actually, that is a blatant lie, and I'm going to use this sentence to remind myself of what a liar I am. So yeah, I started recording songs again, even though I said to myself that I'd take a break, and start recording/writing again next fall. niiiiice, you're gonna be a reeeal success if you take 3 month breaks between writing. Shaddup. As far as recording goes, I got extremely fed up with my laptops microphone, so I just started recording with my mp3 player. The thing is like 3 years old, and the microphone is better than my year old laptop. Fucking ridiculous if you ask me. But yeah, the new microphone, combined with my amp, equals almost professional sounding, uhh, sound. The thing that the microphone does not help, is my voice. I need some serious work with my voice.
Another juicy bit of news is that I gauged my ear! Yeah, it was something I always wanted to do. In fact, if I remember correctly, that was the reason for getting a peircing in the first place. But then, I found out that it takes time to stretch it, so natuarally, I just went: "meh". The funny thing is that a year or so ago, I bought a new earring with a slightly thicker bar than usual, so I just put it in and forgot about it. Untill three days ago, that is. So, I went and bought the next size bar, but in the form of a screw-on flesh tunnel. After minimal effort, it practically glided in my ear. The next day however, I realized that I wanted it just a liiiitle bit bigger, so I went out and bought the next size. Thinking that the transition from a 14 to a 12 was relatively easy, and pain free, I naturally assumed that the same would apply to the transition from a 12 to a 10. Oh boy was I wrong.
Turns out, it's not the same, and I went through a wee bit of agony, untill I coated the bar with vaseling, and just took a deep breath, and pushed. didn't know that you were pregnant. Shaddup you. Well, it took more than just one deep breath. However! I did manage to break on through to the other side. i don't care if you do write songs, a Jim Morrisson you are not. After that, my ear was just throbbing so much, and it hurt when I touched it, but everntually it got better. I still haven't really toyed with it, but here's to hoping.
Also! I'm going to be flying over to the "old country" in a few days, and I couldn't be happier!
The cool part is that I'm probably going to be meeting this girl I've known for the past three years over the interet, in person! I'm kind of weirded out by it it, and the fact that I used to have a net crush on her doesn't help much, but I'm just so fucking psyched that we're actually gonna meet!
On the skateboarding frontier, I've been doing quite a bit of it this past week, since there's nothing better to do here in the 'burbs. The only frustrating thing is that a) I got injured again, and b) I sort of forgot how to kickflip, again. Ah well, it doesn't matter. I was thinking abut giving it a couple of days rest anyhow. The plus part is that I get to take pills again!
You know, cause pulling a groin muscle ain't no joke.

Three cheers for allergies! (Not!)

Every day, the suburbs make me just a little bit more crazy. I don't know why, but I think it's the lack of things to do. Anyway, I've been watching the "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind" for the past hour and a half, and I realize that it's one of the most inspirational movies I've ever seen. I really can't go into specific detail right now because I'm one too many beers deep. However, even though I haven't been recording that much lately, I have been writing. It;s not complete songs, just snippets of lyrics, a couple verses here and there. I'm just not motivated enough to sing and record, while my sinuses flare up like a mother fucker. Well, I don't want to linger that much, I've still got a movie to watch. Hopefully, the night will end with a cigarette.
You know, cause the ones that don't, usually suck.

The dormitory life.

I...have been getting more and more agitated with my allergies. It went from minor stuff, to full blown congestion. Not to mention, it just saps my energy for some reason. That's the only explanation I can find, as to why I don't feel like writing/recording songs. So, school is officially over, and I couldn't help but feel a twang of sadness, as I was leaving the dorms. I really don't like leaving my "area", once I've grown accustomed to it. Anyway, the important thing here is next year, when I'll be rooming with three people. It's going to be single bedrooms, but I still worry about the people I'm going to be rooming with. They are the exact opposite of me, when it comes to how they live while in school. I'm more of a quiet person, I keep to myself, and I just like to do my own thing. They are not that quiet (not in a bad way, they just do more things than I), like to party, and are always doing something. However, I find that this is a small price to pay for having friends. Not to mention, Halo 3 teammates. Yeah, next year is going to be full of studying, Halo-ing, partying, and hopefully, music playing.
You know, cause my dream is still up for grabs.

And then you wake up.

I just wanna be a musician. Make people feel what I feel when I listen to other peoples music. I don't wanna be famous, I just want to be in a band that actually plays gigs, and is somewhat known. For some reason, I love the Joy Formidable. Ever since I heard of them, and their music, I've been captivated, like a ship in a whirlpool. I don't know how to say this, I just know that I want to be able to finally express myself musically. I know that this is one of my destinies. Even if I'm drunk right now, I still want to write music, to distribute it to people who will get it. The fucked up thing is that I'm not a songwriter, and I don't know if I'll ever be. It's my dream though, and one day, I hope it'll be more than a mere dream, I hope that it will one day become reality.
You know, cause reality beats everything else.

The good times are tempting me.

So I've been doing all sorts of things these past few days. Haven't done much songwriting, but I've been living. I don't exactly know how to put it though. I've just been doing things I feel I should be doing as a person in college. I'm still wondering about what to do with my girlfriend. I mean, I don't imagine myself with anyone else, but imagining the time ahead of with us, with us the way we are now, makes me not want to do it. I get the long run, it's just too far in the future for me.
I just want to get the semester over with, so that I can start off my summer. Also, I'm excited for next year, because I'll be in a very distracting atmosphere. That's a good enough test for me, in order to see if I can be a good student, and ignore the distractions. Well, the ones that I can't afford to be distracted by anyway.

You know, cause having some fun here and there, is not so bad.

P.S I love music.

Ah, to wonder.

Trying to know the future is no hard feat, yet I still keep on trying to predict everything. It makes me wonder about all the little things that I've done that could have changed my future. In the end though, I realize that it's been one hell or a ride, and I sort of stop thinking about the past. That's when I start to think about the future, trying to manipulate it but only in the small ways. I'm too afraid to make the big choices because I'm too content with what's going on already. I feel as if I'm denying myself all sorts of things, but in the end, the routine wins.
I was going to try and write a song today but sadly, it didn't work out. I've been writing this song on my cell phone, saving it a message. It's funny because little by little, it evolves, turning into something with potential. it reminds me of the kooky ways some writers became famous, like J.K Rowling, who thought up Harry Potter on the metro. I feel as this would be one of the stories, if this song became a hit, and I'd tell people that I just wrote it on my cell phone, saving it as a text message. Heh, that's pretty funny if you think about it. Man, I hate always thinking about me becoming something. It's just wrong to do anything out of the sole purpose of becoming famous. I wish these visions of me becoming someone would just stop popping into my minds eye.
You know, cause it gives me hope.

Diarrhea of the mind.

Everyone strives to make money, but fails to really understand why they're doing it. People go to school in order to become something that will rake in the money, and not to study what they actually want. I just wanted to say that for some reason, don't really know why.
I completed my first album ever today. I went for twelve tracks, which I think is a pretty decent number. It's funny because I don't think that I can play the songs I wrote myself! I think I'm going to have to work on that tomorrow, cause I feel as if I should be able to play those songs wherever, and whenever. This night has now officially come to and end, and I can't wait to go to bed and read a little bit from my book. That's also another thing I need to work on, reading. Haven't read a mind blowing book in forever. Hopefully that will change over the summer. The one thing that kind of sketches me out is that possibility that I might not be writing as many songs over the summer. Actually, I just realized that I probably will be doing just that when I'm working at my dads restaurant.
You know, cause when there aren't any customers, it gets pretty boring.

My friends.

Another night has come to an end, and I feel as random as ever. All the things are happening at the drop of the hat, and I don't think I like it. I mean, I used to be a spontaneous person, but I think that being in college has changed that. I like being in my room doing nothing, even if I say otherwise. However, I wouldn't be doing much anyways in my room, at least not at this point in my life, so I guess doing other things is better than nothing. I am losing precious writing, and recording, time though.
I forgot how good it feels to have friends, to have someone to talk to about your problems. Even if you're not that close, it still beats having all of the things that trouble you locked away in some part of your psyche, having it eat at you.
You know, cause it just sucks.

Rise and shine!

Note to self: REMEMBER TO CALL THE GREEK CONSULATE, GO TO THE BANK, ORDER THE GUITAR, DO THE FIRST QUESTION ON THE PHILOSOPHY FINAL!
Ok, now that that's out of the way, I just want to mention a few things. First of all, my girlfriend is not pregnant. She's just having her period really, really late. Secondly, the more I start to hang out with these new people, the more I go to bed late, and the lazier I'd get. I just need to start doing more things. Say no for a change, you know? And I really, really need to get done with some songs, writing wise, and recording wise.
You know, cause I have more than a few unrecorded.

Tick, tock.

Every day, I keep on going to bed later, and later. I really need to buckle down, and finish off my philosophy paper. I mean, really. I should have it done by the time this week is over. I guess I have to anyways. I don't know what's going on with me lately. I think it's the fact that I made some new friends, and my old ways are coming back to me. I always try to be around msot of the time, even if it takes away precious hours of my day. I should stop putting others before me. It's not healthy, and it's not going to take me anywhere. I think for tomorrow I'm just going to finally finish a song I have been prepping for, and write up the first third of my paper. For now, I'm just going to enjoy this nice beer buzz, and get my ass to sleep as soon as possible.
You know, cause I hate getting out of program.

La la la.

I'd like to start off with something witty, or something remotely interesting. Sadly, that I cannot do. I was smoking outside today, and was just singing whatever came to my mind. I thought that it'd be a cool thing to do, in order to become attuned with myself, melodically speaking. I guess it worked in a way, I just think that I'm still too static when it comes to finding a melody. It all sounds the same. Hopefully, as time goes by, I'll get better at it.
For some reason, I think I'm starting to like poetry. I think it's because that's what songwriting really is, poetry with a melody. Maybe I'm wrong but I read a couple of lines from a T.S Eliot poem, and I found myself trying to put a melody to it. It's a big possibility that I'm going to start reading poetry from now on.
I've been going to bed at the wrong hours lately, and I'm getting pissed at that. I hate being off program, it derails my entire day. Ugh, it's all good though, the semester's almost over, so I think that I can get some more sleep if really needed it. As long as I don't start sleeping at five a.m. again.
You know, cause I did that for almost two years.

I wonder...

First off, I'd like to apologize for not posting yesterday. And now, I realize how no one really reads this shit but me. you finally got it right for once. Shut it. Anyhow, have you ever gotten that feeling that you're meant to be something? Something more than just what you are at this moment? I don't know, I have that vision for myself. I don't think it's vanity, I just think that that's how it might possibly be. This might also be a giant mistake because someday, I'll realize how wrong I was, and fall into a depression. I always was, and always will be, and optimist though. No matter what, I still have these self inflicted images of grandeur. Whatever. I can't wait to get a band started, make things happen, get the wheel turning. Because no matter how much you wish, nothing's going to happen, unless you make it happen. Man, I'm still confused though, as much as I was a couple days ago. It's only because I'm unsure of everything. No, scratch that, I'm impatient is what it is. Impatient for the things to come. Doesn't really matter what's going to happen; all the matters is that something happens. I just dislike the present. Yeah, that's an accurate way of putting it, I suppose.
You know, cause it hits the point.

Oh bla di.

Man, I've been getting lazier, and lazier as the days go by. I even got a word to associate with this syndrome, senioritis! I picked it up from this guy I have a philosophy course with. I just hope that I can pull out of it soon because I just hate having things pile up, and they have already begun to do so. On the songwriting topic, I feel as if I'm getting better and better at doing it, it just takes more effort to actually do it for some reason. I'll get the hang of it though.
You know, cause eventually, I always do.

Originality knocks.

I have to get over my obsessions. They are a damper in my efforts in being somewhat original in my songwriting. I think I got past that issue guitar wise, but it's the singing that I still have to overcome. I just have to find my voice I guess.
A word to the wise, do not eat a Whopper Jr. an hour before going to sleep. I feel as if a rock has migrated and found home in my stomach. I think that this is going to be a weird night.
Something funny, my dad turned fifty some days ago. Don't know why it's funny actually, I was just amused when I found out. Going to try and study tomorrow, which was my plan for today. Needless to say, that was an amazing failure on my behalf. Oh, I don't have any classes on Monday, I'm going to study all day! Yeah right. I did anything but study. I think it's because I have so much free time, or else I'd buckle down more. Don't know what exactly is on my mind right now, I'm feeling oddly blank for some reason. I just hope that I can fall asleep rather quickly tonight.
You know, cause I hate it when it takes too long.

Back, from outer space.

Well, it's been a couple of days since my last post, so I'll begin with what's on my mind. For one, the issue of my girlfriend and I arises, once more, and I'm as confused as ever. I really can't put my thoughts into words at the moment, so I'm just going to move on. I have recorded eight songs! I feel so good about myself actually, although I do dislike my singing. The guitar parts are ok, it's just that I'm not a melodically adept person. Hopefully, that will change in time.
I have so much do to this week. Start studying for my philosophy final, make my schedule for next semester, call the Greek consulate in Chicago for some paperwork, and continue to write songs.
Hopefully 'll amass enough material to make an "album". Hah, I never thought I'd say that. I think that's going to be enough for now because I think I should get going to to bed.
You know, cause my schedule has been thrown way off.

Nonsense.

And here it is, I stopped caring about how many posts I've hit. It was bound to happen, so no hard feelings. I feel confused for some odd and vague reason, no idea why. I do know that somethings won't change, and that is almost always the point. I'm at my aunts house right now, going to spend the next three days here. It's pretty nice because we'll be celebrating Easter, the Greek way.
Got back on my skateboard after my latest injury, and it feels great, as always. My parents keep heckling me to stop, and act my age but we all know that is not going to happen any time soon.
I need to sit down and study tomorrow, I've been putting it off for too long because it's been a great deal of time since I've had a decent vacation, and a continuous year and a half of school is starting to get to me. The good weather isn't really helping either, hehe. Jotted down a couple of lyrics today, and I think I even wrote a whole song earlier this afternoon. I don't think it was a very good song since it was born out of necessity, rather than from inspiration. Ah well, whatever. As long as I keep practicing, it's all good. I have some things to attend to tomorrow, so I think I'm going to be heading off to bed after this post, as I almost always do. Here's to good dreams.
You know, cause dreams are what make sleep so good.

You're already done?!

Well, I think I'm pretty ok right now. It's way past my bedtime, and for the second night in a row, I haven't gone to bed yet. I'm actually pretty tired, so I'm going to have to go real quick for this one.
Just a quick mention of how I skateboarded, and wrote what I think is the best song I've recorded yet. More info on tomorrows post.

Hmm, what should I write next...?

I think I might have gotten some writers block, because I don't feel inspired, and when I do sit down and try to write, bullshit comes out. Also, the feeling of doing nothing has come back, stronger than ever, and it makes me feel like shit. I met even more people today, and I think I might have made some new friends, which is really cool. The thing I think is the best, is that most of them lurk on 4chan, something not common with the people I've met so far. I was so happy when we all lost the game, and exclaimed our doing so, pretty vehemently. Well, I think that this is all she wrote for tonight. I'm going to watch a show on the discovery channel, about people who try and make Leonardo DaVinci's inventions reality.
You know, cause I find DaVinci pretty fucking cool.

So tired.

Oh man, where to start? This week has barely even begun, and I'm already tired. For starters, I had a busy morning today because I had an exam, and because a friend of mine wanted to take advantage of my homework. So, I met him up for, what I thought was going to be a relatively short meeting, and we ended up bullshitting for a good two hours. Afterward, I got invited to this concert which I did not refuse to go to. Ugh, the night just ended for me, and I can't wait to go to sleep.
I haven't done much songwriting these past few days, and that's kind of worrying me. Oh well, I'll just amp it up the next few days, just so that I can make up for the lost time. For now, I'm just going to go to bed, and hope the ringing in my ears will stop.
You know, cause the concert was banging!

Errr, what?

For some time now, I cannot remember my dreams for more than five minutes after I wake up. This isn't how it used to be though. I used to be able to remember almost a hundred percent of my dreams for more than a day! I don't know what triggered this change but I do not enjoy it one bit.
For something completely random, Tony Hawk set up an easter egg hunt but decided to hide skateboards, instead of the traditional eggs. The moment I read on twitter the location of the first board here where I live, I immediately bolted out of my dorm room in the frantic state of mind that only a hunt can induce. I hauled ass; literally sprinted to the location I thought was the correct one. The sad part is that I spent almost five minutes searching at the wrong location, when I realized that I was supposed to be looking somewhere else. As I got my bearings, I saw this man running to the very same location I was running to. As he went through the gate, being the daredevil that I am, I jumped over the fence and hoped against hope that my nemesis hadn't found it. Alas, that was not the case, as I saw him running away, with the board in his hand. I called out to him, congratulated him, and told him my story. Being the cool guy that he was, he gave me a ride back to my dorm.
The weird thing about this? I wasn't bitter, like I would normally be in another circumstance similar to this. All I could feel was happiness, because it was just so fun! The running, the ridiculousness of it all...ah, it was a good time.
Another thing that happened today is that, when I sent a song I had recorded earlier today to a friend, she told me that I sounded a lot like Tom DeLonge. Two years ago, fuck, a year ago, I would have been ecstatic to hear this because ever since I started playing guitar, my dream was to play the guitar, and sing, like Tom DeLonge. Now that I'm trying to be original, and escape that, I end up sounding like him. Isn't that something? It's funny how life throws these subtle, yet karmic curve balls. No wonder people write so many songs about karma.
You know, cause karma's a bitch.

I woke up and smelled the coffee.

And yet again, I realize that I won't be something special, something out of the norm that is normality. I realized that I won't become a famous musician, or be in a famous band because I just started out too late, as always. However, it doesn't bother me at all. Why? Well, because I like songwriting, and I like playing the guitar, and I'm just gonna keep doing it because I like it, just like I keep on skateboarding even though I know I won't go pro. I did sort of give up on drawing because it just wasn't my thing. But yeah, that's all I think I'm going to talk about right now.
Also, I have plenty of stuff to do tomorrow, and this weekend in general.
You know, cause at the end of things, stuff tends to pile up.

Watermelon Vodka.

Excuse my absence yesterday but I was at a party where four local bands were playing. It was pretty good, and I got pretty intoxicated. The music was ok; my only problem was that it was too loud, and I have semi-sensitive ears. So I spent most of the party outside of the house where I could listen to the music at ease. I've been spending a lot of time with my guitar these past few days, and I've been learning things I ought to have learned four years ago, major scales. No matter, there's no time like the present, right? The other thing I've been spending time on is finding melodies to my lyrics. Since I'm not much of a singer, yet I try to be one, I find it pretty difficult to melodize something. I just have faith in the fact that the more I do it, the better I'll become.
My leg is feeling much better, and I'm going to start stretching it for most of today, and tomorrow. I want to skateboard again so much. Especially since I've been getting back some of my lost confidence.
You know, cause I used to be afraid of jumping off shit.

Rythm guitar, anyone?

Not quite sure what to talk about, so many things happen, and I keep on forgetting them until a very inappropriate moment. For one, I figured that when I graduate from college, starting a band would be really, really difficult, so I told one of my friends from class to ask around and see if there was anyone out there who would need a second guitarist, or someone that would be willing to start a band. There's another kid living here at the dorms who I know is in a band, and if I get the chance to talk to him, I'll make sure to ask him for the same favor.
I recently found out my greatest weakness in songwriting today. It's finding a melody that's the hardest, so for the past twenty minutes I've just been singing random words and whatnot, trying to escape the static-ness of my melodies. Also, I played the shit out of my guitar today! I don't think I've played for that long in a while. All I did today was learn about major scales, and how they're used in songs. It's actually pretty cool to see that the bands I idolize use these scales so much! I've actually been able to dissect a couple of songs, just to prove to myself that they're just human, and that even I could, one day, write something as good as them.

And now, for a health issue. My leg has been healing up pretty well, and hopefully, I'll be back on my board by next week. My muscle relaxants have one more day in them I think, so once they're done I'll start doing some basic stretches. That way, my muscles won't be in such a deteriorated state when I go out skating again.
You know, cause I sat on my ass all winter.

Do re mi.

It's interesting how infatuated I become with something, that I tend to obsess over it. Usually, I will obsess over it for maybe a week, and then I'll completely forget about it. Like for example the web comic I tried to start with my friend. I was so bent on making an awesome web comic that I would think about it all day and all night. The newest thing that I'm obsessing over is becoming a musician. Well, actually, I just want to be in a band and make music. The only difference between those two? I wasn't funny enough to make a web comic but I do know a little bit more about music and whatnot. I hope that I won't give up on this because this is something I would love to do as the days go by. I just recently started learning about actual music theory and whatnot, and I think I'm going to try and apply that knowledge tomorrow. I totally failed to put music to two songs of mine today, so I just figured I should let it be for a day or two before I start again. Or I might just abandon them completely and start on new songs.
You know, cause the past is the past.

Am I high?

I wish that there was a device that could record all of my thoughts, and then erase the ones that bother me. However, such a device does not exist. In its place I have blogger, which is not a bad way to bring forth these thoughts. I can see them written, and then once I've seen them take on a different form, I can deal with them easier. What's bothering me right now? The fact that I really, really want to be in a band. It's been my dream for so long, and as time goes by, I fear that it will become harder and harder to make it come true. I've been saying that it will take up too much of my time but in reality, I have too much time anyways. Maybe I should start to look into it more seriously. For now, I can just dream.
My leg is feeling much better but the muscle relaxants that I'm taking really mess me up. I was in class today, and I could instantly feel the drugs taking effect. It was extremely weird, I felt sleepy and sluggish. Almost as if my head was submerged in Jell-O. Hopefully my leg will heal, and I won't need physical therapy like last time.
You know, cause last time I semi-tore the groin muscle in my right leg.

Insult to injury.

I keep thinking about how I'm always going to be too late to pursue something. Skateboarding? Started too old. Music making? Most musicians have been in bands ever since they were 16-17. I'm 19. Ah well. I'll get to do it one day. I wrote and recorded another song today called "The World Forgot". It's not too shabby but god DAMN do I need a band! The songs just sound so blank without drums, base, and various other thingys. I totally didn't hear my phone buzzing when my girlfriend called, and she's at work right not so I don't think I'll talk to her at all today, or tomorrow for that matter. Stupid "silent" mode. Been listening to a lot of Dylan and Beatles lately, and I don't know why. Probably because they are so fucking good. Geniuses the lot of them.
I went to the doctors today to see if I could get some muscle relaxants for my pulled groing muscles. I did get the prescription, but I also got a hernia exam, doctors treat! I've never had to drop my drawers in front of a doctor, so I guess the experience was worth it. Wasn't that bad though, I mean, she was a doctor. Maybe I should tell my girlfriend that I cheated on her. Hah, now that'd be funny.
You know, cause she was only a doctor, and doctors can grab and prod all they want.

Pop it mother fucker!

There's always that day that leaves you feeling hollow and empty inside, steadily increasing this feeling as time passes. Being by myself in this room is a 24/7 job because I have to bat away the bad feelings at all times. Even with all this technology at the tip of my fingertips, even with 34 gigabytes of music, I'm still left feeling incomplete. No matter though, all this will go away tonight, only to be replaced with the usual "school week" things. Hopefully the weather is decent tomorrow so that I can go skate, which I have now come to realize that it is my anti-drug. That, and my stubbornness to do well in school. I mean, if I didn't have those, I'd be back to smoking weed in an instant, since it's much easier to obtain here than alcohol. If I had to choose? I think I'd take the booze for some reason. It's pretty masochistic on my part since, whenever I drink alone, the alcohol augments these terrible feelings and just makes it ten times worse. However, I find this perverse pleasure in it, almost as if to see how much more sad I can get, before I burst into tears.

I skateboarded in downtown Detroit today! Hart Plaza is the shit! It was so fucking good to be out in the streets again, being a little street rat in a big city. It was funny because when this kid took a picture of me trying a noseslide, we discovered that a cop car was rolling by me, frozen for eternity in that one frame. Hilarious.
You know, cause cops in Detroit don't give a shit.

My back hurts.

These past few days, I feel rejuvenated. Things bother me less than what they usually do, and I think that this is because I started skateboarding again. I know I sound like I'm on repeat or something but the fact is, skateboarding has always had a major impact on my life. Now for something that's going to sound pretty odd: I apparently look like a skater. My best friend told me this when we were chatting with cameras. He said that I look like a straight-up skate rat. Now, this isn't the first time we've chatted like this, and he mentioned this yesterday. It's like I've undergone a mental, and physical transformation. Also, my legs are starting to get their strength back. I no longer get sore after a couple hours of doing it. I find that amazing for one.
You know, cause my legs got back in shape after only three sessions.

Six coneys to go!

So it's true that practice does make perfect. I've been writing songs these past couple of weeks, and with every new one, people say that I'm getting better at it. Of course, it's still horrible but the point is that it's becoming less horrible. if you're making it, it's going to stay that way. Never mind that, as long as they think it's good. Uh anyway, yeah. I'm currently writing a new song, titled "...And the world was colorful again". I've already got down the first verse, and the chorus. All that's left now is the second verse, and the bridge.
On oher news, I went to downtown Detroit today with two of my new friends. Yeah, we went to watch sports. Basketball, I think it was called. All jokes aside, It was pretty fun since it wasn't the usual dreary Detroit, but a Detroit where people still roamed the streets, and the roads were packed all night. And we capped it all off with two Coney Dogs each, from this place called Lafayettes.
You know, cause Coney dogs are the shit.

Staples.

What does bring people together? Well, I think that the answer to that question is music. I don't care who the fuck you are, if you're in a room with a bunch of people, and a good song comes up, you're all automatically best friends for night. And that's why I want to pursue my dream of being a musician. Just be in a band, singing, playing the guitar, just trying to escape the mundane aspects of real life. One of my biggest fears is being stuck at an office job, punching in and out and whatnot. That's why I'm going to try my hardest after school, at doing everything but that. We'll see how it goes. For now, I think I'll just focus on school.
You know, cause I'd like that piece of paper that acknowledges my accomplishments after four years.

Thank you, Robin Williams.

I am feeling sooo funky right about now. I hate that hour long period where you're recovering from sleep. Where you're just stuck in limbo between awake and retarded. If it weren't for the fact that I could feel things more prominently, for example my sore legs, I'd think that I were still dreaming. However, that is not the case, and I have a day filled with opportunity, ready for me to seize! In a good way of course. Today I have a mathematics competency test, something I have no clue how I'm goind to do on. Hopefully my memory isn't so shot so as to remember some of the basic things of math.
You know, cause I used to be good at it.

What the fuck? Did I just land a kickflip?!

It's night time again, and I realized that my blogs are more and more apart, time wise. I guess that it's mainly twitters fault since it just takes mere seconds to just write what you're doing. So all that twittering stops the accumulation of things that would otherwise put into two, or three blogs! No matter, this isn't a regular blog anyways. I'm here to write about the things that bother me, and lately, not that many things bother me! Well, of course there are some, but they're forgotten after mere minutes. For instance, the whole "girlfriend" thing. I just try and not think about it really because if I do think about it, it just hurts more and more. And my just letting things be, I can't hold a grudge against my girlfriend, making me a lot less nasty on the phone, and a lot less bitchy as well.
The one thing that's creeping up however, is the philosophy final exam. I would love an A in that class, and I think that the only way to do so is to do extremely well on the final. The weird thing is that, even though I do feel this way, I still won't study for some reason. Maybe because I'm ready for the semester to end.
My songwriting is going well, by the way. Something interesting, whenever I'm out smoking, I usually come up with a lyric, or a riff. A couple months ago, those riffs would only remain in my head, simply because I just couldn't bring them into reality for lack of skills. Lately though, almost every riff I come up with in my mind, I can play on the guitar in five minutes or so. Pretty fucking cool, if you ask me.
I skateboarded again today, and you know what's weird? I can't pop ollies like I used to but I was able to land 5-6 kickflips! But wait, it doesn't stop there! I haven't landed a kickflip in over a year and a fucking half. I think my legs are retarded. Ah well, whatever. It's not like I care anymore, I just want to skate.
You know, cause nothing compares to riding a board down the street.

Aw, not again!

I am so fucking confused right now. It's all starting over again, those thoughts creeping up into my brain, whispering dark and evil things to my gullible blob of gray matter. What thoughts are these you ask? Well, it's the whole "girlfriend" thing. I was talking to one of my very good friends today via msn, and he was also in a long distance relationship. He said that the one thing I must do is look towards the future, and try and act accordingly.
You know what I see? Us never being with one another for more than a week every three, maybe more, months. It's just too fucked up! She hates the city, so she refuses to visit. I hate the "great" outdoors but being the bitch that I am, I do go out there. She has no plan whatsoever, apart from sitting at home. My plans involve me jumping around for a good while. And what about after school? I have no clue what the FUCK I'll be doing after that. She doesn't even plan on finishing school anymore. The other thing that's starting to bother me is the fact that, when we talk on the phone, it's just a one-way conversation most of the times. It gets old really fast, and it's gotten to the point where I have to constantly fish for things to talk about. I don't know, I just. don't. know.
You know, cause I just don't anymore.

Finding Jesus.

Ok so, I was watching "Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist", and at one point, this girl Caroline says that she found Jesus. It was at that time where I jotted it down, not as a song title idea like I usually do when I hear phrases like that, but as a band name! Wouldn't that be hilarious? Finding Jesus? It's the fact that it's totally ironic, since I don't really want to find Jesus!

And as I was laughing at the brilliance of this, I started forming in my head the wikipedia article that is going to be about my band and I. It will be something along the lines of "...the band name came from a movie, blah blah blah, and it was chosen by Sophocles because he thought it was funny". And then, my own personal article will say something like "...he thinks he's really funny, so the fans just go along with it. However, everyone knows that he really isn't. In a way, he does too." Isn't that just GREAT?! Oh man, am I getting ahead of myself here or what?! No matter, I like pretending that I will amount to something one day. And by that, I mean accomplish something that I feel is worthy of my mind telling me "good job man, good job" instead of constantly insulting me.
You know, cause it always does that. Don't you ever read this blog? of course not big head.

Touche.

I was actually inspired by the lady in the "quote of the day" box to the right of this sad, sad blog.
Since it won't be around for long, twenty four hours to be exact, here it is: "To do common things perfectly is far better worth our endeavor than to do uncommon things respectably". However, I still feel the need to pat myself on the back for some of the things I keep on doing, no matter how bad I am at them.

Guitar. I've been playing the guitar for a number of years, and I know that I'll keep on playing for many years to come.

Skateboarding. If it's the one thing I'd do for the rest of my life, it'd be skateboarding. Even if I can't land a god damn kickflip after so many years.

Gaming. Shit, I've been doing this ever since I was a kid. It was the damn SEGA Genesis that started it all. As long as it's reasonably affordable, I won't put the controller down.

Songwriting. I haven't been doing it for the longest time, maybe a couple of years, yet no matter how bad my lyrical skills are, no matter how bad I sing, I like doing it. Hopefully I can get somewhat better as time goes by.

Still though, are these common things, or uncommon things?
You know, cause that quote got me thinking.

Ah so.

It's funny how my dad tells me about all our economical woes, and then after making me feel like shit he tells me to not worry. Well dad, cool. I mean, seriously, what kind of a thing is that? I get telling me about the different stuff that's going badly but you don't want me to worry about it? Fuck it, I try and not worry anyways. Shit, the man told me to, right? Still though, it does eat me up a little bit sometimes.
Kind of worried about the group presentation thing tomorrow. We did meet up but for some reason, I feel as if I didn't really prepare that much. probably because you didn't smart ass. We are the first group to go though, so the professor should be lenient.
Also, I think I'm getting too worried about the whole songwriting thing. After all, it's not so fun when you try and force it. Makes it feel all fake and shit. I do have an idea for a new song, and by idea, I mean title. It's a good way to start though.
You know, cause a lot can come from just the title.

Rip Off.

I realized today how much I miss being around other people. It's very refreshing, and most of the people I know are pretty funny, which makes it even more appealing. The main thing about it though, is the fact that when I'm around friends, I put everything else that clutters my brain somewhere where they cannot bother me. I mean, being my myself all the time is pretty god damn depressing, and if it weren't for the various little things to keep me mildly sane, I think I would be a anti-depressant medication whore by now. However, this semester I got the opportunity to meet new people, so that when i come back for the fall semester, I won't be so utterly alone anymore.

I wrote a new song today but it sounds too much like blink-182. I mean, it's not necessarily a big deal, it's just that I would like to be original. I guess that originality comes with time, and I really haven't been serious about songwriting for the longest time anyways.
You know, cause I thought I sucked so much it wasn't even worth it.

Light bulb effect.

Pretty interesting day. I think I already mentioned the whole "church" thing earlier, you don't think, you know asshole, so I'm just going to skip to the later part of the day. As soon as I got settled back into my room, I started talking to some friends on msn. I had told this one person that I would be writing not only one, but two songs during the weekend. Well, the truth is that I did have some inspiration but was just too lazy to do anything with it. So I say down later this evening and tried forcing a song out, which didn't really work out. However, since I had a songwriting mindset, there was a shining moment of inspiration while I was out smoking. Inspiration through inhalation, hehe. It was just a simple riff for a chorus, and one for the verse. So after getting that figured out on the guitar, I proceeded jotting down a couple lyrics. I wrote the chorus and one verse for it but I'm going to leave the rest for tomorrow since it's getting pretty late.
You know, cause it's a schoolday tomorrow.

Amen

It's been one whole day since I last blogged I think. Shit, this whole blogging thing has become semi-important to me. Ever since I started this whole thing as a way to keep my mind off of things at night, I feel that I owe it to myself to continue doing this thing. Plus, I hope that if someone ever reads this, (60th post!) they'll be mildly entertained. On a weirder note, I went to Church today after four or five years, and not only that but I received communion! As that was occurring, I wondered if communion makes us cannibals, since it's the "body & blood of Christ". Anyone else ever wonder that, or is it just me? Nah, it can't be just me. Also, in Orthodox communion, right before when you are about to receive the communion, the priest asks for your name, and then he blesses you. So I thought that if I were a priest, I'd just mess up peoples names, just for the fun of it. "Your name?"
"James". "Bless you John, in the name of the father etc." See, I think things like this are hilarious. You know, cause they so are.

Hagen

Well, at my aunts house for the weekend, just like I mentioned earlier. Not much happened today, apart from eating wicked good pizza at Buddy's. Spent most of the night watching an NCAA game, so totally not our thing dude, tell me about it, while wishing I were at this party one of my friends from astronomy lab was throwing. My night is now all about Haagen Dazs and Constantine. Whoa. I think I'm going to finish off the night with a beer and a smoke.
You know, cause it's healthy.

Rolling.

So I skateboarded for the first time in six months or so. I mean, actually skateboarded, no pushing around and shit. I was sort of let down when I couldn't pop ollies that well but after a ten or so tries, I could do them pretty well. I even landed a kickflip, sort of. I had both feet on, but the moment I landed it I took my foot off. Probably from the surprise of actually doing it, hehe. I'm going to be off at my aunts house this weekend, since my uncles memorial is on Sunday. I'm thinking about doing some more songwriting while I'm there.
You know, cause the last one was pretty damn good.

A jumble of thoughts.

I just realized how badly my social skills have been altered by my seclusion in my dorm room for the past 3 months. Every conversation I try and strike, if I can get past my new found shyness, comes out weird and mildly retarded. Ugh. On a different note, the song that I wrote was liked by most of my friends, and this has spurred me on to write more material. Another thing that's on my mind is the fact that my philosophy project is due on Tuesday, but my partners take too long to respond to my e-mails. I just hope that it will get sorted out before the deadline. Been listening to Motion City Soundtrack all day today, don't know why though. Something completely irrelevant, I've had these two cinnamon rolls on my desk, just sitting there, tormenting me. Should I eat them? Has it been too long? Would my intestines give up on me for good (see alcohol poisoning) if I even touch them? Damn, so confusing. No matter though, I'll be off to my aunts house for the weekend, where there'll be fresh ones waiting for me.
You know, cause that's where I got them from last week.

These Four Walls.

Today is going pretty well actually. Went to class, got done with that, and proceeded with being in my room for a very long time, something that's been my way of life ever since I came to Wayne State. It's cool though, I don't mind it. Most of the times anyway. I also finished a song today! I had the lyrics written but I was lost in the musical part of it. I was just playing with my guitar today, and this pretty cool riff came to me. After that, it was all smooth sailing. I recorded my first song that follows the "verse/chorus/verse/chorus/bridge/chorus" style. I'm really proud of myself actually. Here's to more songs by yours truly!
You know, cause it's been one my dreams to become a songwriter.

Hurm.

So tonight was the first night I didn't speak to my girlfriend on the phone in three months. We usually have this thing where one of us will call to just talk a bit, and say goodnight. Lately thought, I've been grating her nerves on various shit, and it was mostly me who called. I figured this'll be a good way for her to chill off and whatnot. Plus, I get the feeling sometimes that I'm boring her with all my jabbering. Anyhow, hopefully she'll stop being annoyed by me and start calling me for a change. We'll see what happens. Other than that, I got one more day of class and I'm done for the week.
You know, cause I deliberately made it so that I don't have classes on Fridays.

An abundance of nothing.

I really want to be doing something right now, but I don't know what. It seems as if my life is full of god damn choices, yet I simply choose to do nothing. Something must be done however, and first and foremost, something should be done with me. Urgh, I dunno. Maybe it's because there's an abundance of things, this inevitably happens. Back in the day, all there was to was skateboard, go to school, and drink. And videogames. But that's it! I mean now it's videogames, blogging, twitterinf, studying, talking on msn, making friends, writing songs, exercising, listening to music, playing the guitar, mope. I mean, there's so MUCH! Not to mention that thinking has become a chore, and I wish that I could just shut my brain off, just for a little while. never! I refuse to be turned off like a mere appliance! I'll just keep on talking and talking, till I drive you cra. Yeah, see? No biggie. It'll turn back on though. I've taken a liking to being outside and smoking, but I fear that if I do that, I'll go back to smoking insane amounts of cigarettes every day.
You know, cause I've cut back. A lot.

Leisure

So I've got a couple of minutes to spare, so I figured I might as well blog about this brand new day. Well, the first thing I noticed after I woke up, and shook off that early morning retardedness, was that school work is slowly, but surely, piling up. That kind of gets me worried but I know that no matter what, I probably won't let things pile up too high. My prediction for today? Well, I predict a boring two hour class, followed by boredom so great I will actually go to my schoolwork for help.
You know, cause when you're bored, schoolwork will help.

My Muse.

So I was just thinking about random stuff while I was out smoking, and I suddenly realized how certain bands have influenced my songwriting. Before I get into that however, I want to talk about my songwriting in general. For some reason, whenever I'm doing something mundane, like going to the bathroom, I start thinking about lyrics and the music that accompanies them. For some reason, these lyrics and music are pretty damn good, if I may say so, and the moment I try and write an actual song on paper they just up and disappear, only to be followed by stuff that I don't really like. The stuff I put on paper almost never sounds like what I have in my mind, which I find to be rather infuriating. The stuff I have in mind (to start talking about influences and whatnot) bear similarities to bands such as blink-182 and Motion City Soundtrack, a couple of my most favorite bands, both lyrically and musically. I guess that's because I've been listening to them for a long time (blink-182 since I was in the 4th grade actually) and their songs have impacted me on various periods of my life. For example, the only reason I started playing the guitar was because of blink-182. That being said, whenever I try and use this influence on paper, it vanishes, only to be replaced by shitty, generic, lyrics. That pisses me off to a great extent. I just hope that one day, I'll be able to successfully write & perform what's in my head.

On another topic, I've started thinking about why I want to write songs. I don't remember how it started off but at one point, it was about becoming known, about being in a famous bands just like the ones I admire so. Lately, I've come to realize that things like that don't happen to the common fool, and it would also require a large number of sacrifices to be made on my part, something which I cannot do at this point in my life. Therefore, with this knowledge, I write songs just because I feel like it, and not because I have this day-dream of becoming this famous songwriter/performer. I guess this all comes down to what I really want to do, and since I'm not making the right sacrifices, this isn't it. However, you never know what the future has in store for us, so I'll just keep on doing my little thing while having my eyes and ears open to opportunities.
You know, cause you never know who, or what, might come a knockin' at your door.

Pondering.

Been thinking about changing my screen name and url, all in one big go. Something about poolwater and badreviews just doesn't really go well. Here's to brainstorming, cheers.

Day in.

I woke up this morning pretty peaceful-like, even before my alarm rang! This only happens once in a little while, so it's definitely the cause for celebration. And celebrate I did, by eating Frosted Blueberry Pop-Tarts and watching an episode of The Spectacular Spider-Man! It was pretty good. By the way, 50th post! congratulations. your fans must be very proud. I had two consecutive classes today from 10:40 to 2:40 but I finished my lab pretty early. It's actually pretty fun in that lab. Got past some of my anti-social-ness, and I actually have friends in there. Especially this one Tejas dude. Pretty funny motherfucker, if you ask me. Up next in my agenda would be playing some more Pokemon, and then head off to my other class which is at 4:30. Well, those fickle ickle monsters won't catch themselves so, I'll check back in later.
You know, cause who'd want to put themselves in captivity/slavery?

I choose you!

Not much going on right now, I just finished writing a song and realized that this new method that I've been trying out has been working out really well. I'm also thinking about writing a review for Pokemon Platinum once I've finished the main story. This, of course, means logging some serious hours on my DS which is pretty cool, since I haven't used it for a long time. This reminds me of the review I wrote for The Legend of Zelda: The Phantom Hourglass, which got published in a local magazine in Greece. Well, I think that's all she wrote for today.
You know, cause I'm calling it a night.

Teeny Tiny.

Stupid astronomy course, just when all my troubles consist of finding a way of being different from the masses, becoming someone that will be a couple leaps ahead, astronomy fucks it all up. Why, you ask? Because it keeps on reminding me how small and insignificant all of this is! It's like today, the professor was talking about how the Milky Way has a billion stars, and "of course!" so does the Andromeda galaxy, and so do the billions of other galaxies. Thank you, Mr. Pruneau. Reality is a god damned bitch, but she's pretty sobering too. Now, I don't waste my time worrying about becoming the smartest bunch in the nut, I waste it thinking about how lonely this "God" person must be. All of that universe, and nothing else except for us humans. If what the Christians say is true, that is. Shit, we must be really exciting to watch or something, if he were to stick around, being all omnipotent and whatnot, like a kid with a Chia Pet.
On a cooler note, I'm currently following the excitement that is Jonah Hill and Seth Rogen on twitter. I am a sad person indeed. I need to start writing some more songs by the way, been scratching away at my guitar, but not on my notebook. real witty dumbass, did it take all of your brain powers to think that up? yeah, figured as much. Actually, it did not. I did not have to think about that one, hehehe.
You know, cause I'm so funny.

Busy day.

I feel kind of bad, not blogging every 10-15 minutes. I guess twitter took over for that, right? Fucking twitter, it's becoming the new myspace. Just a giant rat race to be the person with the most followers. 'Tis gay if you ask me.
On a different note, I skateboarded today for the first time in six months, and it felt AMAZING! And, sort of weird. Ever get that wobbly feeling in your legs after some serious sex? Well, that's what I got after pushing around for half an hour.
I got Pokemon Platinum, hehehhe. way to go 5 year old. Shut up you, your love for that game is unrivaled. whatever. Anyways, I got Platinum, and I plan on playing it for a good while. I can't wait. Actually, I can. I've been playing it for like 20 minutes, and I'm already pissed at all the grinding. Stupid levelling, kills me every time I play this game.
You know, cause it's boring.

Milk & O.J.

Not that much to be said right now since I just woke up. Had some pretty weird dreams but as of late, I forget them as soon as I swing my legs out of bed. I really dislike that since my dreams are always pretty weird, and therefore, worth remembering. First day of school today after a week, and I'm actually excited for some reason. Oh man, I need to get some shopping done. I hate not having milk and orange juice in the fridge. Not to mention a couple of bottles of water. Well, I think I should go and splash some water on my face and start off my day.
You know, cause otherwise I'd feel like a lazy fuck.

Thank you!

That's all I ever hear from the people at the front desk of my university, when I show them my i.d. card. Thank you! Like they've never seen me before and need that extra speedy flash of the plastic card with my goofy face on it, to really know that it's me. Ah well, it's just a pain to get out of my wallet. Uhh, it's been a day since Spring Break was over, and I already feel swamped. I think I'm going to do a wee bit o' studying tonight, just to make me feel at ease.
You know, cause I hate the feeling of having things to do.

Wow

Where to begin? My spring break got off to an amazing start when I laid eyes on my girlfriend sitting in her car, with her head on the steering wheel. When we got to her house, I became the biggest asshole known to man. If anyone recalls my previous blogs, no one reads this shithead, my mind started coming up with these weird and stupid things that concerned my relationship with her. The good news is that that week I was able to get all of those moronic things off my chest, and be myself again. I love her so much, and she didn't deserve that sort of bullshittery from yours truly.
Oh, I saw most of my friends from upstate, and also got the chance to a) see a couple of terrible movies with them, and b) party. The movies were "Fright Night", an amazing B movie, and "Gargoyles", the movie which apparently used slow motion as a fear factor for the first time in movie history. SO MANY SLOW MO SCENES! The party was a blast. It was good friends, bad beer, and everclear. Yeah, everclear. If that doesn't say anything, let me just say that it was my first time enjoying everclear. Well, enjoying is a bit of an overstatement, since it is just like drinking rubbing alcohol. I don't remember much from that night, the 8 beers and a double shot of straight everclear helped with that, and it was all good fun. The next day however, was not. Apparently, I had succumed to a minor bout of alcohol poisoning, making me vomit whatever touched my stomach, and then some. I spent the entire day feeling like shit left to dry in the sun, too sick to even watch movies or read a book. When night came, I felt relieved! I was giddy since I thought that I could sleep, and put my woes behind me. Little did I know, that was not going to be the issue. The majority of that particular night went something like this: lie down on bed and try to sleep. stay awake because somach is upset. wait untill the last possible moment to get up and go to bathroom. go to bathroom and wait to throw up. throw up. wash teeth. drink water for fear of dehydration. repeat untill 6 a.m.
Yeah, shitty right? Fuck it, it was spring break.
The next few days leading to my departure were pretty good. I had gotten over my petty little problems, came to terms with a couple of things, and just had fun with my girlfriend and her family. God I love her.
Anyway, the dreaded hour had come upon us, and we drove down to my place of residence in Detroit. It was really fun, we talked, listened to music, and we were just us. I loved it. We stopped for some food at Applebees in Saginaw, which resulted in stomach pains for the both of us. Tasty. After the horrible goodbye, I hate having to say goodbye to her, I proceeded to enter my dorms. I quickly find out that the dorms were closed untill tomorrow. SHIT! Thank god my girlfriend was still near enough to swing back and pick me up, in order to drop me off at my aunts house. It was sort of nice because I got to be with her again for a little longer. Then, as we arrived at my aunts house, I realised that I wouldn't get to see her for a good long month. So, we said our final goodbyes, kissed lightly and tenderly, and I waved her off. God I love her.
You know, cause I totally do.

Celebrating something I shouldn't.

St. Patricks days, and my plans? Getting drunk with friends, and my girlfriend, which I haven't seen in a long time. Should be fun.
You know, cause getting drunk with good friends is always fun.

Spring Break

Ok so, I'm in Petoskey, and have been for the past four days. The first couple of days were pretty rocky, since there was this tension between my girlfriend and I. Well, all of that is gone now because we had a pretty interesting conversation, filled with sarcasm, wit, cynisism, and sincerety. I found that being sincere is the best way, even if certain things might be hurtful when said. Ah well, the point is that everything's ok now, and it will be for a nice long time. Now, I know I was bitching about not being able to have sex with her but I've come to terms with it. As long as I'm with her, it's all good. I'm not using my computer right now so therefore I must wrap up this little bouquet of words and bid you adieu, faithfull reader, untill next time. Which, should be soon.
You know, cause I'll be back home in a few days.

Thanks.

You know, in a couple of hours time, I'll be driving up north with my girlfriend, the one I've told that I love so much and that would probably marry. When the time is right, of course. Lately however, I can't stop thinking negative thoughts about us, and where we're going. It must be the distance thing because I cannot think of anything else that can be the cause of this. I still love her, can't possibly imagine being with another girl but I can't possibly see myself living with her for the rest of my life. Hopefully, this no internet, no t.v, no xbox, (and no sex, for the love of GOD!) week will help put things in perspective. If you ask me right now, I'd say that this is going to be a really fucked up spring break. Ask me when I get back though, and you might get a different answer.
You know, cause things might change.

Inhale, exhale.

Getting ready to go to sleep soon but not before my ritualistic "before I go to bed" cigarette. For some reason, it's mandatory that I have a nice smoke before I go to sleep, or else. or else what? Or else I get no sleep, and my mind runs rampant like a child in a jungle of, uhhhhh, diapers. good one man, reeeeeal creative. Shut up. Anyhow, I'm off for spring break tomorrow, and I don't know when I'll be re-posting, like anyone cares. I'll probably post once or twice tomorrow when I wake up and/or before I leave.
You know, cause blogging's cool.

By the way.

I made a twitter account! Isn't that odd, how the internet turns us into narcissists? With our blogs and twitter, all we do is talk about ourselves.
You know, cause it's true!

Oops.

So as I was walking back from the cafeteria where I enjoyed a nice seafood pasta, I encountered this kid from two days ago. This requires a little bit of backtracking. Two days ago, as I was eating lunch, I sat down to chairs away from this red headed dude. It was just me and him in this table that could seat like ten people. Anyway, this was the kid I encountered earlier. The strange thing is that I felt the inclination to nod and say "what's up?" to him. I must really want some human interaction if I felt that, simply by eating near this person two days ago at lunch, I should ask him what's up.
You know, cause I don't really interact with people all that much nowadays.

Seriously?

Ok, so I'm pretty sure you've all heard about dress codes in school. Yeah, those ridiculous rules from the 50's. Well, surprise surprise, those daft things still exist! Children get scrutinized for wearing clothing that might be considered "offensive", or "not fitting their age". Not to mention that girls skirts have to be longer than arms length. Why? Can someone please answer this question? But please, before you do, listen to this! The kids that dress "peculiarly", (you know, the goths, the punks etc.) don't get told off because the staff fears it might trigger another Columbine. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?! How messed up is this place? You can be an asshole to the kids that like wearing alcohol related shirts and ones with witty quips, yet you won't be an asshole to the goth kids because you think that they're criminally insane?! Jesus Christ and his gay-ass brother! Why?! Why even bother with what the kids wear? You talk about individuality, and how it's wonderful to be yourself but at the same time, you forcefully strip them from their, according to you, "god" given right of freedom of expression.
Kids! Listen to me, the next time they tell you to not wear hats or jackets, EVERYONE go to school with hats and jackets. They tell you to not wear flip flops or be barefoot? Do the exact fucking opposite! What do you think they're going to do? Expel all of you? Maybe once, but no more than twice. I mean, they can't deny you your education because of what you wear, right? Just wear whatever you want, and don't give a god damn kid, don't give a flying fuck. Shit, we all should just take a leaf out of V's book and do just that with out government. But that will never happen, everyone's too afraid. Too afraid, and so used to the status quo, that the mere thought of disturbing it gives everyone the chills. Just make sure that you learn something throughout all of this kid.
You know, cause without knowledge, we're fucked.

Please, PLEASE!

For the love of all that is sugary and sweet, I can't stop eating Fruit Roll-Ups! SOMEONE PLEASE, HELP ME! I don't know why the need to feed increases a thousandfold with this sugary, tasty concoction. Oh the sweet, sweet taste of fake fruit, the feeling of edible plastic in my mouth. Oh my, I'm day-dream-eating. Must. Stop. Eating! Om nom nom nom...
You know, cause that's the sound people make when they're stuffing their faces with food.

Mirror mirror.

Horrible, horrible dream. I guess I asked for it though, showed me who's boss after all, hah. By the way, no Halo yesterday. Result? I fell asleep like that. Woke up like 5 minutes ago, literally. I went and took a piss and looked in the mirror, only to see how long my hair has gotten. It's so weird isn't it? Looking at the subtle, yet prominent, changes in your appearance as the days, weeks, months go by?
You know, cause it's stunning.

Right.

Don't know what to write about now...it's bed time for me. Got one last exam tomorrow, and it's spring break for me. One whole week of nothing. Well, I still have to do some studying but no that much. Been kind of a weird day today, kept thinking about all the things I've tried to do but failed at. Sometimes I think I'm worrying too much about becoming someone different from everyone else. Then I realize that I'm still 19 and got a lot of time in front of me to make something of myself. Or is that a the wrong state of mind? Should I always chase the opportunity? Should I always get pissed at my failures, only to try something different, and fail again? Sometimes, I just don't know.
You know, cause life's so fucking confusing.

Oddly peculiar...

This is extremely odd, my right fingernails grow faster than my left. Hardly blog worthy, yet who's to say?

The Diaries of Spartan - HO3

...Busy day yesterday. After the end of the human-covenant war, we Spartans don't have all that much to do, so what do you think happens when you put a bunch of us in a room? The answer is, we just start fighting. I guess you can call it "our nature" but I think it's deeper than that. I mean, if it were just our nature, would we really need live ammo? I think not. I found a really nice trick though, every time my shields go down, I fall to the ground and pretend to be dead. After five or so seconds, I get back up, and I feel like a new man! Oh, forgot to mention about this new game we play! It's called Spartan tag, and the basic idea is that "If you get shot, you must stop moving. Period." It's really fun but it's still catching on. Not that many people play and, and when we do, our opponents think we're just dumb.
Until next time, Spartan - H03, signing out.

Nope, nope nope, no.

I keep hearing great things about this grand country we live in. Land of the free, the American dream, people going from 0 to hero. Can someone say: BULLSHIT!?
First off, what freedom? Everything remotely fun is banned or illegal. No loitering? What the FUCK?! It's like, if someone gets hurt from something, they make a gigantic fuss about it, untill it becomes illegal. What a crock pot of shit. Kids getting high off glue? You can't buy fucking glue unless you're 18. As long as they get the mothers to shut up about "the kids" safety, they're golden. I tell you, the mothers don't give a flying rats ass, all they want is a robot kid that leaves her alone when she's high on Valium.
Now, the American Dream. Anyone can become someone, as long as they try super hard, hyuk hyuk. Right. Can someone tell me how, in a country with so many people, everyone can be someone? I mean, if everyone was a Gates, there would be no money to give to everyone! The American Dream is just that, a simple dream, that was fed to everyone to get them off their asses and make money, in order to pass on that hard earned money off to people like mr. Gates. People of America, you've been trolled.
You know, cause you believe this incredible pile of shit.

blank

I seriously have no idea how to feel right now. I'm lacking sleep, I played 4 enraging hours of Halo 3, and I just have no clue as to what I'm doing right now. I should be sleeping. I should be sleeping peacefully and without the image of Elites dying a screaming death. I wrote another song today. Pretty shitty but at least it's something. At least my two major exams are over with, and with them, so are my feelings of guilt of not studying hard enough or whatever. Now I have two projects to finish over spring break, and not to mention a 5 page paper for my astronomy course. Stupid dorm policies, kicking us out for spring break. Meh, whatever. Oooh, 30th post! i keep telling you, no one gives a damn, and it's not that big of a fucking deal. Whatever brain, just shut up. Man, I'm craving alcohol right now, just so I can pass out with no trouble.
You know, cause I've had difficulties sleeping these past weeks.

Late, for a very important date.

So, I slept through my alarm clock today. Well, actually, I don't know if I slept through it, or just heard it, made it stop, and then forgot about doing so. So when I did wake up, I was ten minutes late for class, and had a major headache. Talk about getting on the wrong side of the bed. I'm fucking hungry right now and I have to wait till 4:00 to go get something. I always get Taco Bell on Tuesdays, just stuff my face full of soft tacos, and then go to class for 3 hours. Good times I suppose. My exam's in an hour almost, and I can't WAIT to get it over with. God damn.
You know, cause everything's his fault.

Use something.

I've got this feeling of emptiness and guilt. I don't know why though, and it's bothering me. I mean, everything's happen so fast but so slow. Maybe that doesn't make sense...or maybe it does. I don't know. I'm feeling really down as well, like when I'm drunk by myself and all I want to do is listen to sad songs, or songs that make me feel sad. Man, this is really weird. Is this depression? The longing for sleep cause it makes what I feel in the here and now nonexistent? I love everyone but not myself.
You know, cause I have no clue.

Listening to: Use Somebody by Kings of Leon.

Who am I?

verse/chorus/verse/chorus/tomatoes.

One of my dreams is t write a good song. Not many songs, not a hit multi-platinum song, just a song that I'll like, something to be proud of. I'm not really the songwriting type though, which makes me kind of sad since I feel as if everything I write is shit, probably because it is. I always used to try and write lyrics like other bands do, full of meaning and whatnot. Yeah, I don't think that that's the right way to start doing something like this. Actually, I think that trying to do something that has already been done is bound to fail from the offset! I did find a new songwriting method though, and actually, it's helping out a lot! I mean, it made writing a song much much more simple than I previously thought. Here's to good riffs, and new material!
You know, cause I'm gonna write a song.

Cellular

So I've noticed that most people my age cannot get away from their cell phone. Everywhere I go, people appear as if they're glued to them. It's crazy! I mean, is this the next stage in our evolution? Anti social-ness? I rarely see people in a group, just the lone texters. It's kind of sad, and I can't wait to get out of here and meet my friends.
Oh, I had my first exam today, which I think I did pretty good on, and that leaves two more for this week. It's the philosophy exam I want to get over with though.

Lazy is as lazy does.

Not much on my mind except the exams that are waiting for me tomorrow, and how much I like the movie "The Mask". I'm pretty well prepared but for some reason, don't feel as if I've studied enough or as much as I wanted to. Can't really explain it. Oh Jim Carrey, how you make me laugh.
You know, cause he starred as the "Mask" in "The Mask".

Que?

I'm really ticked off right now. Some friends told me that my Greek now has an accent. This is horrible new for me because that was one of my biggest fears. Son of a bitch.

As productive as a fish without a tail.

Halo 3. That is almost all I did today. Afterward however, I took a nice shower and did some exercises. And now? Now I'm getting ready to play some more, hehehe.
You know, cause I love that game.

My head is gently weeping.

So I wake up sweaty, achy, and with a nice headache to boot, to the pretty rattling "Imperial March" which is the alarm tone I have on my phone. I feel completely out of it right now. Plus, it's after 12:00 p.m.m which means that the cafeteria is closed. Again.
You know, cause I frequently miss the operating hours.

DST

Well, time for my pre-sleep post. Daylight savings time is upon us! And it found me playing Sonic on my Sega Genesis emulator. For some reason, I felt the urge to beat all three Sonic originals, and that's what I'm going to do. I feel like I'm a kid again, hehe. Well, time to get some sleep and get that extra hour of it.
You know, cause of DST

Hehehheh

You ever tell something serious to someone on msn, or by text, and quickly changed your mind about it and sent a "hehehheh" immediately after? It's like you're talking to this girl you've liked for a while and said "you know, I've liked you for a while. wanna go out sometime?"- one split second pause - "hehhehee"
It can be used for almost anything! "Dude, I've been gay for the past 15 years, I really had to tell someone" . . . "hehehhhe"
And of course, no one is fooled. They'll know that what you said was in no way a joke, and either go on as if it was never said, or will go "what?"
So for future reference, "hehehheheh" will never, ever, save your ass from what you've just thrown out into the open. By the way, "yaaaaay, twentieth post!". whoop dee fucking doo jackass. it's no feat. in fact, it might be one of the easiest things to accomplish. plus, no one is reading this shit, why bother?! Shut the FUCK up brain, not going to listen to you, not tonight. Was doing pretty good by myself, thank you very much.
You know, cause I wasn't overthinking stuff.

Quack!

I just finished beating "World of Illusion feat. Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck" on my Sega Genesis emulator (of course I beat it as Donald, my favorite Disney character). Man, I love that game. It's simple, fun, yet there's a fair amount of difficulty in it! I mean, it's not going to mentally scar you, like the drowning music in Sonic but it provides a nice overall gaming experience. It's pretty cool looking at games from "back in the day" and seeing what we used to call good graphics, and sort of sad seeing the greedy pigs we are today. MORE DETAIL! Ah well, the main point is I had fun with that game, simple graphics and all.
You know, cause it's good.

Smells like teen spirit.

By the scar on Harry Potters forehead, my bathroom smells so incredibly bad! I don't know how many of you are familiar with this particular odor but my bathroom smells like DICK. It smells like god damn dick. I mean, I'm giggling right now cause my roommate's in there as I type, and I have no clue if he's caught a whiff of it, hee hee. Shit, he's come back out. Trying not to laugh is really hard, even for me with all my training from school.
You know, so the teacher wouldn't hear.

Coca-Cola, you tricked me!

So, I've been trying to not drink any soft drinks for a good while. I started with drinking unsweetened Ice Tea, drinking soft drinks once or twice a week, to drinking nothing but water. Sometimes, I just couldn't take it, and I'd buy a coke once every two weeks. Now however, I don't know how much I can continue to deny myself these liquid wonders. I can feel the need creeping up, the THIRST! Seriously though, it's amazing how addicting soft drinks can be. I think I'm going to start relapsing this week. I already had a shot of Pepsi but that doesn't count.
You know, cause coke is better than pepsi.

I am the bong water...

I am officially enthused, since I just found this amazing little article about exercising at home, Zen Habits. It's pretty neat, and I'm already trying some of the stuff it talks about. I think I'm just going to stick to the Isometric and balance exercises. I'm way too lazy, and out of shape, in this point of my life to start doing crunches and push ups etc. So for now, I'm just gonna practice my neighing.
You know, cause of the isometric stance, The Horse.

Exceeded? Sort of.

Well, the movie was amazing, and so was the pizza. I managed to forget all about my not being able to go to the premier of Watchmen, for a good 2-3 hours. I felt a pang of bitchiness arising so I thought I might as well hit the books. Got three exams going and, as I mentioned before, been kind of lazy. I figure this will keep the guilt of not studying enough at bay.
You know, something relevant to the blog.

*Phew*

Amazingly enough, with the help of some of my e-friends (I guess all my friends are now technically e-friends. wow, my life sucks), I stopped thinking about the whole Watchmen thing. I'm still a bit sore but I'm hoping the two medium pizzas from Domino's and a movie will help soothe it. What shall I watch...AHA! Planes, Trains, & Automobiles. There we go. I already feel much better.
You know, cause comedies rule when you're sad.

Who watches the Watchmen? Not me, that's for sure.

You know what, fuck them. All my friends went to watch Watchmen tonight, and I'm all alone. No one to take me to a movie theater, no one to hang out with while they're out having fun. What can you do though, right? Aw shit, cafeteria's closed.
You know, cause it's almost 7:00 p.m.

Stupid.

Is is my fault that Mike Krahuliks' drawing style has motivated me to start drawing? Is it so wrong that my drawings closely resemble his? People on the PA forum told me that I should stop "ape"ing Mikes style. First off, for all you PA forum pricks, Mike is "ape"ing Stephen Silvers drawing style you insufferable assholes. And you bash me for "ape"ing? First of all, what the FUCK does "ape"ing even mean? What, is it the whole "monkey see, monkey do" kind of shit? Monkeys copy you stupid sons of bitches, not APES! A monkey, is not an ape. Man you guys suck. Take off your "I'm so cool glasses", get off of your high and mighty horse, and take a good look at it. Yeah. It's a low and shitty pony.
Of course, this is all my fault in the first place. I know what forums are like, why the HELL did I ever go to one?! For advice? Psh, yeah right. The advice I got might have been constructive to those assholes but in actuality, it's the near equivalent to 4chan's "kill yourself you newfag".
God, they make me so angry! They have their little clique, hiding behind their "witty" screen names and their little avatars, just giggling it up while they destroy peoples lives from the inside out.
You know, cause words hurt more than sticks & stones.

Hardly working.

Man, I feel like a lazy bum. These past two weeks have been weird as shit. I have no motivation whatsoever. I'll sit and study but after half an hour I'll turn on the t.v or just do absolutely nothing for 5 hours. I don't know why I'm in this slump but hopefully spring break will clear things up and give me new found motivation that I so sorely need. I can't take this anymore, I feel like a bum!
You know, cause I just sit around.

&*%!@$#

Trying to remember a Placebo song, armed with nothing but the tune to the chorus(?). It could be the verse. Or the bridge? GOD FUCKING DAMN THIS CHEATING WHORE MEMORY OF MINE! I forgot how much Every You Every Me, combined with Mark Appleyards skating in Sorry!, used to give me goosebumps.
You know, cause it's super good.

Rumbly in my tumbly.

Fuck me. My stomach's been upset for the past two days. I guess eating an entire can of pineapple chunks does not qualify for taking it easy, I was hungry damn it! So anyway, I think I made a gave mistake today. I always go to eat at around 12:00 p.m. but Fridays at the cafeteria confuse me. Last two times I went to the caf on a Friday, it was closed. Naturally, I learned from my mistake and I went to the caf at 11:30 this Friday. It was open, that's sure but I think that for some reason, today they remain open till 1:00 p.m. Why do I think this you ask? Because I was one of the three people occupying the cafeteria at 11:30. I thought to myself sweet! everyone's gone and I get the whole cafeteria to myself! hmm, this is antisocial to the extreme. meh, whatever. So I grab some food, sit down, and voila! People start pouring in! At first I thought probably people who wake up the same time as me. Yeah, no. These people were going there for lunch. At 12! God damn it. Ah well, it's not like I lost a lot of sleep. Wait a minute! This is not what I wanted to write about! Ok, the real thing I wanted to blog about is the fact that since I had to go to lunch earlier, I had to suffer eating while my stomach was still vulnerable to attacks since I had just woken up. So now I feel like shit again.
You know, cause I ate pineapple again.

Nightly purge.

Never really got the whole blogging thing. Is it for yourself? Is it to get known by the public? Well, whatever it may be, my illusions of fame and fortune have been dashed way to many times. Still though, the image of me becoming this internet phenomenon still lingers somewhere in my subconscious. Well, even so, I'm just going to do this for myself, and if fame comes a-knockin' I won't say no.
You know, cause money and fame are cool.

Attacks on the physical realm.

So, this is news to me. Apparently, the week I started playing Halo 3 again, not only did it take me longer to fall asleep, I also started to snore. Yes, I mother fucking snored. Can you believe that shit? I mean, it was one thing for Halo to fuck up my entire day after a bad losing streak in Love Wolves but this...this is an entirely new area of assault! Not only am I being struck down mentally by this game, I am assaulted physically as well! This is just to much.
Am I going to stop playing? Probably not. Why? Have no fucking clue. Oh well, I guess my roommates going to have to put up with my newly acquired skill, the ability to snore.
Shit! I totally forgot about this one! My girlfriend had told me that a) I gnash my teeth in my sleep and b) the gnashing had stopped after I gave up Halo. Coinkidink? I think not faithful readers.
You know, cause the whole Halo thing?

Well.

So, I forgot what exactly I wanted to talk about right now...well for one, if I recall correctly, it didn't take me that much time yesterday to fall asleep. I could be mistaken but I'm pretty confident it didn't take more than 20 minutes. I also remembered that it's been two months since I could get my hands on a Thrasher magazine, which now tell me that I need to subscribe. Fucking weather here makes it impossible to skate. So? All you're gonna do is cruise around and do a couple of ollies. You can't skate, face it. Well, for your information, so fucking what? I just love the feeling of riding my board, even if my inability to land any tricks does make me want to scream and cry.
You know, cause it's really frustrating.

Aw shucks.

First off, not only did I post once before I went to sleep, I posted twice! Count it. Yeah, that's two. Well, my girlfriend just called me, and the reason why she didn't earlier was exactly what I expected. Furthermore, I feel like a giant ass for letting my mind get the better of me. I think the reason she sounds/acts more distant, is because she's pretty much cooped in her home, interacting only with her family for long stretches of time. She says she likes it that way, but after she spent the evening with a close friend of hers, she sounded very much like her old self. I still don't know what to think though.
You know, cause it's confusing.

Rageohol

Anyone ever have difficulties falling asleep due to anger? Last week I picked up Halo 3 (on Xbox Live) again after a 4 or so month hiatus. Since then, I can no longer fall asleep that easy. I'll just toss and turn for a good hour before I finally drift into the blissful state of existence known as sleep. I'm pretty sure that this recent phenomenon is very closely related to, if not caused by, Halo.
God damn it, I just hope that putting down the controller at least an hour or two before I go to bed will erase this damn symptom. Who knew that rage is so much like food?
You know, cause you shouldn't eat food 2 hours prior to bed?
(Unless it's oatmeal.)

Urgh

Kinda disappointed right now. My girlfriend always calls me before 11:00 p.m., but it's 12 and I still haven't heard from her. I know there's a logical explanation, but these past couple of weeks, things have been kind of weird. I feel as if she's a bit distant, and I catch only rare glimpses of her former self. She once told me that I had changed for, somewhat, the worst. I now think that I can say the same for her. She used to be full of spunk and whatnot, but ever since she moved back into her parents house, I feel as if she's slowly turning into this different girl. Bah, it might just be me and my paranoia since this is a long-distance relationship. I still love her though, it's just making me worry is all.
I wonder if I'll post again before I go to bed.

Water of a pool.

So, you might be wondering why the url is poolwater. Well, I recently started a habit of refilling two water bottles with tap water, instead of buying more. This allows me to keep more money for myself while easing the guilt of buying video games. Anyway, I had left one of the aforementioned bottles in my backpack and entire night, and I took it out during my class. As I deftly take a gulp, I noticed two things: a) the smell, b) the taste.
I can't really remember what hit me first, a or b, but I do know that it took me back to when I was at this water park. It was the smell of a pool, and the water tasted exactly like poolwater.
Man, I really was not expecting that.

Like a virgin.

So, this is my first time blogging. Ever. Way to be behind the times jackass! I know, right? I always thought that blogging was, well, pretty stupid. However, these past couple of months, my mind is filling up to the brim with all sorts of shit, and I want to be able to purge my mind from these persistent thought demons. Fuck, all I want is the ability to fall asleep without thinking about every little god damned thing that's happened.
So, there you have it, my first purging, and my first blog. It's like losing it from the front and from the back.
You know, like the front being a penis/vagina and the back being the anus.
Like, you know, sex.
In the bum.