My Muse.

So I was just thinking about random stuff while I was out smoking, and I suddenly realized how certain bands have influenced my songwriting. Before I get into that however, I want to talk about my songwriting in general. For some reason, whenever I'm doing something mundane, like going to the bathroom, I start thinking about lyrics and the music that accompanies them. For some reason, these lyrics and music are pretty damn good, if I may say so, and the moment I try and write an actual song on paper they just up and disappear, only to be followed by stuff that I don't really like. The stuff I put on paper almost never sounds like what I have in my mind, which I find to be rather infuriating. The stuff I have in mind (to start talking about influences and whatnot) bear similarities to bands such as blink-182 and Motion City Soundtrack, a couple of my most favorite bands, both lyrically and musically. I guess that's because I've been listening to them for a long time (blink-182 since I was in the 4th grade actually) and their songs have impacted me on various periods of my life. For example, the only reason I started playing the guitar was because of blink-182. That being said, whenever I try and use this influence on paper, it vanishes, only to be replaced by shitty, generic, lyrics. That pisses me off to a great extent. I just hope that one day, I'll be able to successfully write & perform what's in my head.

On another topic, I've started thinking about why I want to write songs. I don't remember how it started off but at one point, it was about becoming known, about being in a famous bands just like the ones I admire so. Lately, I've come to realize that things like that don't happen to the common fool, and it would also require a large number of sacrifices to be made on my part, something which I cannot do at this point in my life. Therefore, with this knowledge, I write songs just because I feel like it, and not because I have this day-dream of becoming this famous songwriter/performer. I guess this all comes down to what I really want to do, and since I'm not making the right sacrifices, this isn't it. However, you never know what the future has in store for us, so I'll just keep on doing my little thing while having my eyes and ears open to opportunities.
You know, cause you never know who, or what, might come a knockin' at your door.